The Breakdown That Became My Breakthrough

If you had asked me only three months ago what my plan was for after graduation, I would probably tell you, disappointedly, that I was going to take a year off school to figure out what I want to do. Which, if you know me, probably would have confused you a bit because I have always proclaimed that I will go into postgrad for psychology and do all these great things within the field.

With that said, having pride and drive can be helpful, but can also cause you the worst mortification of your life. The truth was, at that point three months ago, I was under the impression that my psychology journey had come to its end. And believe me, it was a sudden halt. Alongside said mortification, pride and drive also can come with being greatly dramatic, because my psychology journey did not in fact come to an end, but a dip that ended up rising higher than i could ever imagine.

What preceded my breakthrough was one of the toughest periods of my life; and to me, my schooling and future are everything. I spent the first two years of university in a place where I was neither thriving mentally nor academically, and after transferring universities, I swore I would do anything to succeed and reach my goals. This included many sleepless nights, unpaid internships, and a lot of academic burnout. Finally, the time had come to apply to my masters programs in Canada, the moment I worked so hard for. Unfortunately, a key part of my application, something I had been relying on, fell through unexpectedly.

I spent the next following months thinking everything I dreamt of had slipped right between my fingers. I had kept changing what my "dream" career was in order to fit what I believed I could achieve; and undermined my abilities, while giving up on what I truly wanted to be. I now have spent the last half hour writing this realizing I can be awfully dramatic. Despite my unnecessary theatrics, it still was a very disappointing experience, which taught me that my ego can only take me so far. So, rather than continuing my slump, a friend had suggested to me to apply to the U.K for a masters program, something that I had been considering for 3 years now. In my head I'm thinking, if I'm not cut out for a Canadian program, in what world would I be cut out for a U.K program?

Regardless, I still applied. I had worked so hard to get into the position I am now, I may as well give it one last go to try and stick to the plan I had created (with only a slight adjustment in regards to location... happening to be across the world). With my interest in personality disorders, and wanting to do research within that realm, I applied to a MSc in Mental Health Sciences. This program in particular was exactly what I would from a masters. I would be able to study and conduct my own research in mental health and BPD, while setting me up to pursue a PhD or PsyD in order to be a Psychologist. And the cherry on top? It was a Russell Group University. But surely if it didn't work out for me to go to a Canadian school and to do a masters which I wasn't even particularly thrilled about doing, I wouldn't get into my dream one.

There are three things that I have learnt throughout this experience:

1. What is meant for you, will happen, and what isn't meant for you won't.

2. With that said, things won't happen without any effort. But if you are willing to put the effort in, you'll eventually reach your goals.

3. You are going to face many setbacks, but it's never the end of the world.

Well here I am now, writing to say I move to London, England in six months to pursue my MSc in Mental Health Sciences. It's quite interesting to take a step back and to see how everything plays out, even in the most unexpected ways. So, take what you will from this, and I'll be the first to tell you that if you have a true passion for something, don't settle for less because you think that is what you deserve.